


Jealousy Is Ugly, But Real

by SuperFluffyWolf



Category: Sanders SidesThomas Sanders Video Blogging RPF, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom, Vlogging rpf, youtube - Fandom
Genre: BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder, M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-25 09:59:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13831797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperFluffyWolf/pseuds/SuperFluffyWolf
Summary: Virgil loves Patton, Patton loves Virgil.Patton loves Virgil so much, he doesn't want to share him.





	Jealousy Is Ugly, But Real

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Violence, mental disorder, heated moment, verbal fight
> 
> Let me know if there's anything I missed!!  
> -  
> I'm so sorry I'm late, I just wanted this to be really good for you guys before it went up. :( I rushed the ending so that part isn't very good.
> 
> Beta-read by the wonderful Devydoodle

There was no way Virgil could have known how possessive Patton could be over him when they first started dating. It was cute when Patton would pout about not spending more time together. The older man worked and Virgil was in college and very busy with homework.

“Hey Sweetheart,” Patton called with a smile, a spatula in his hand. “You should take a break from your psychology homework to come eat. Your body needs fuel and your brain could probably use the break. 

Virgil sighed, tossing his mechanical pencil down and stretched. Patton was right, he’d been at this for hours and it was Friday, but he wanted to finish it so he could hang out with Patton and then go for a walk around the park with Roman and Logan. He promised them.

He stood and followed Patton to the dining room where the table was set for the both of them. It’d been almost a year (maybe a full year, Virgil couldn’t recall) since they’d begun dating and he was happy with him, but stressed. Patton definitely helped with many things, but Logan and Roman seemed to avoid him whenever they could. Maybe they were jealous that Patton got most of Virgil’s attention?

They sat down and Virgil smiled at Patton. “This looks great, Pat. Thank you for taking care of me while I’m in school… It helps with the stress a lot.”

Patton simply beamed at the other. “No problem, kiddo! I love taking care of you. You’re my whole world, you know.”

They began eating and making small talk. “So, Pat. What plans do you have for this weekend?” Virgil asked, taking a bite of the beef stew Patton made.

Patton hummed around his spoon in thought. “Well,” He began, putting the utensil down. “I just planned to spend it with you, since we don’t get much time together during the weekdays.”

Oh. Virgil bit his bottom lip gently.

“What about you, sport?” Patton’s eyes caught everything on Virgil’s face, but said nothing.

“Well,” Virgil started, putting his spoon down again. “Tonight, Lo, Ro and I were planning on taking a walk around the park and tomorrow we were going to go to the mall to get Ro and Lo clothes to go to the dance that’s coming up at the school.”

Patton’s hand clenched under the table and his grin went visibly wider. It made Virgil _very uncomfortable_.

“I don’t think your friends like me much.” Patton stated, picking his spoon up once more.

Virgil blinked. “Really? They haven’t said anything to me about it…” To which Patton shrugged.

“They just avoid me, is all.”

So Patton had noticed that too, it wasn’t just Virgil being paranoid.

“I’ll talk to them about it, see what’s going on. I’m sure they’re just jealous you get most of my time.” Virgil shrugged it off, paying it no more mind. “This stew is delicious, Pat.”

Virgil tried to ignore the horrid tense air between them.

“I don’t,” Patton sighed. “want you going with them.” He finished, looking Virgil dead in the eyes and the younger could swear Patton’s normally calm chocolate brown eyes changed into wild caramel eyes, like an animal whose territory was being trespassed.

“Pat, it’s just a walk. It’ll take an hour or two.”

Patton’s eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed, a look Virgil wasn’t used to seeing on his lover. He wasn’t smiling and clearly he wasn’t joking about this either.

“Do you know what could happen in an hour or two? Bad things, Virgil.”

“Patton, that wouldn’t—“

“Do you _know_ for _sure_ it wouldn’t? Can you see into the future, Virgil?” Patton’s voice grew a little more aggressive.

“Patton, you’re being crazy.” Virgil growled out, his own frustration showing.

“ _I’m_ being crazy? Are you _serious_?” Patton was now angry, his voice rose. “They’ve had their eyes set on you since you started school, and _I’m_ the one being crazy?”

Virgil scoffed, furthering Patton’s rage. “They don’t want me like that, Patton. You _are_ being crazy because _you’re_ the one throwing a fit, like a child!”

Virgil stood, done with this conversation. “I have homework to do.” He snorted and began walking away when Patton’s soft hand grabbed the crook of his elbow roughly, stopping him.

“Don’t walk away from me while we’re talking, Virgil.” Patton’s voice had a darker tinge to it than Virgil was used to and if he was honest, he was scared of it. _He was scared of Patton_.

“Patton, stop.” Virgil tried to wriggle free from the other, but the hand was like a vice grip, only tightening the more he struggled and Virgil was sure there would be a bruise tomorrow.

“Why are _they_ ,” Patton spat out. “So important to you? What have they done to deserve such loyalty?”

Virgil growled, his heart rate picking up and his face flushing from holding back his anxiety. “That’s not how friendship works, Patton. I don’t question you when you grab a beer with your work buddies. Maybe you’re the one who I shouldn’t trust.”

A loud sound of skin on skin contact resounded through the house, Virgil’s face turned to the side and Patton’s handprint angrily on Virgil’s cheek.

In a flash, Patton’s eyes changed back and his eyes filled with tears. He let go of Virgil and backed against the wall, a mantra of ‘No’ coming from his lips. He was terrified of what he’d done and it showed, but Virgil made no move to help him.

Virgil stood, his emotions numb and his body unmoving. What was he supposed to do? Hit back? No, that wasn’t who he was. Yell, scream or fight back? That wasn’t him. His body moved on its’ own towards his and Patton’s bedroom. He closed the door and locked it before sitting himself on the bed and staring blankly forward.

The younger of the two didn’t know how long he’d been sat there when he heard his phone go off in his pocket. He was tempted to ignore the text, but instead he pulled it out and saw it was from Logan.

_When are we meeting for our walk?_

He sighed, emotionally exhausted and replied.

_Sorry, I think I have to pass tonight. Pat and I are fighting and I need time to think. Go without me._

It sent and he waited. He wondered if Patton would come for him tonight or wait until tomorrow. Virgil was actually surprised that he wasn’t angry; he always thought that if anyone hit him, he’d be furious. He felt nothing, actually.

He drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He had to focus on his breathing if he didn’t want to panic. Surely Patton remembered his past and how his father had treated him.

Virgil bit his bottom lip, trying to keep from crying. He thought his life was past all of this. He thought Patton was different. He was so _scared_.

There was a knock on the door, causing Virgil to flinch and tighten up the ball he’d curled into.

“…Virgil…?” Came a soft voice, wrecked from crying.

Virgil didn’t reply; he couldn’t. He was _terrified_. Would Patton apologize? Would Virgil accept the apology? _What if it happened again_?

“I…” Patton began with a soft thud on the door, Virgil assumed he leant his forehead on the door. “I am sorry, but please don’t forgive this, Virgil.”

That wasn’t what Virgil was expecting.

“No matter what, I should never have hit you, but I need to tell you something… I hope you’re listening…” Patton sighed. “I should never have done that and regardless of what I say, please know I’m not trying to excuse myself from this… I deserve the punishment you give me, whatever it is…”

Virgil waited. Patton didn’t want forgiveness? What was the other after then?

“Virgil I’ve been hiding something from you…” Was Patton _cheating_ on him? With who? Why? Virgil knew he wasn’t good enough, but Patton had said that he was all he could have ever wanted.

Virgil began to spiral.

Patton swore he loved him and no other. He never came home late, but then what if he didn’t go to work some days? Did Patton really go to the bar for a beer with his work buddies or was it something more?

Patton was very dismissive about the meetings at the bar, but Virgil hadn’t thought much of it until now. His breathing quickened and his thoughts moved so quickly that he couldn’t hold onto anything for more than a couple of seconds.

Then, Patton spoke again.

“I… I have borderline personality disorder… I didn’t want you to know because I was getting help with it, but… Last month the state cut off my medical and I can’t afford my medication anymore… I’m fighting to get it back and I think the stress got to me, but I should never have taken it out on you and I’m so, so sorry… I’ll sleep on the couch until we can figure this out. I’m so sorry…”

A week went by with Virgil and Patton avoiding one another and not speaking. They would occasionally text for food or to tell the other if they were going to get something from the store.

Virgil hated it; the past week had been the worst he’d had in over a year.

His cheek had a light bruise, almost invisible, from where Patton had slapped him. He didn’t really leave the house and he kept up with Roman and Logan through texts, telling them just enough. He didn’t need them to worry about him.

He had been going to school, of course. He had makeup to conceal the bruise and no one was any the wiser.

He was in his human sexuality class when he almost jumped out of his skin because of an unexpected text. He usually didn’t get phone activity while he was in class. He excused himself to the bathroom and read it on the way.

_I’m going to therapy. I don’t wanna hurt you ever again._

_I love you._

Virgil smiled a little. He was happy Patton was seeking help.

Things could go back to normal now. He smiled and sent a reply.

_I love you too. I hope this works._

He held his phone in his fist, holding it close to his chest and breathing out a sigh.

Time passed slowly and Virgil and Patton began speaking again and were finally on good terms again after another week. Virgil’s bruise disappeared and he hung out with Roman and Logan every other day.

The best news was that Patton had gotten his insurance back and his medicine were back in his hands. Virgil, while he was happy, was still tentative around Patton. He wanted nothing with the idea of being hit again, but he loved Patton enough to give him that second chance.

Months went by and things went back to before their fight, and not a single fight; a squabble here and there, but nothing too bad.

_In any relationship, there will be problems_ , Virgil sighed, snuggling into Patton’s side as they watched a movie. For Virgil, it was just background noise. _Everything is fine_.

Patton never raised his hand to Virgil again, except to pet his hair or to stroke his cheek lovingly.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is so bad. I really hate it, but I wanted a decent conclusion. I love my babies too much to leave it cut off. I love you guys too much to let it be cut off at a seemingly random point, but I'm sorry about the terrible ending.


End file.
